my heart hurts...

have you ever had one of those days when you are just weary and sad? when you just can't see how "good is going to come from all of this?" that is where i am today. i am just aching to see G-d in the different circumstances that i am thinking about right now. more than anything, i want His will to be accomplished in my life, in the lives of my loved ones, and "on earth as it is in heaven."

celebrating mother's day with halley and avery (may 2008)

pray. please pray for two beautiful twin girls named halley and avery. they are 10 1/2 months old and are at children's hospital in seattle. basically, they aren't thriving...or growing for that matter. there is something pretty serious wrong with them and the doctors are continuing to do testing this week to confirm their diagnosis. please, oh please, do not let it be what they think it is. i know my G-d can heal these two beautiful baby girls. i want Him to heal them and make them grow into beautiful children, teenagers, young ladies. how is it that Jesus was able to pray in Gethsemane, "...Yet not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39)? i need His strength in order to pray that prayer for these precious babies. their parents, grandparents and family need His strength to pray that same prayer. we trust you G-d. we really do. i really do.

so. a couple of weeks ago our pastor resigned from our church. life is not very good right now for our little body of believers. i don't think some of the things that have happened are very pleasing to G-d. i know some of my attitudes have been less than what He wants for me and i have to keep confessing them to Him and asking Him to fill me with more of Who He is. i don't know where i belong. we don't know what we're going to do. i struggled to get through the service this morning...trying my best to honor G-d with my thoughts, words and actions. then after church i talked with halley and avery's great-grandma.

wow. my problems, my concerns, my opinions...they are nothing compared to what these babies and their parents are facing. G-d, again, we need You. please come with Your Healing, Your Comfort, Your Peace that passes my oh so limited understanding. amen.